


Outta My Seat

by fuckityfrank



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Humor, M/M, inuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 06:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3165623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckityfrank/pseuds/fuckityfrank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan doesn't react particularly well to finding a big-lipped little shit sitting in his usual spot.  (Updated 12/16/2017)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outta My Seat

**Author's Note:**

> Another Ryden one-shot I wrote for a friend.
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://fr4nkie.co.vu)?

 Ryan walked into Spencer’s apartment without knocking and slouched towards the couch.  _Oh hell no_. Sitting in his spot next to Spencer was a skinny kid with big lips and 'punch me' written all over him.

“The fuck is this? Move.” Ryan expected the new kid to jump up and obey. He was shocked when the kid smirked, stuck his tongue out, and went back to eating from a bowl of popcorn in his lap.

Ryan ignored Spencer's amused scoff and glared down at the kid. “Who the fuck are you?”

The kid just smiled and tilted his head. “Brendon.”

“Alright  _Brenden_ ,” Ryan intentionally mispronounced. “What are you doing in  _my_  friend's apartment in  _my_  spot?"   _This _dude's seriously fucking up my zen..__

“I'm sitting next to Spencer because he invited me to watch a movie with you guys.”

“Uninteresting and irrelevant. Move.”

“Ehhh…” Brendon scratched his chin in mock concentration. “No.”

Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Why?”

“So far all I know about you is that you're cute when you are mad. Now you can fully expect I will do everything in my power to keep that look on your face.” Brendon took the time to punctuate the sentence with a shit-eating grin before stuffing another handfull of popcorn in his mouth.

“Oh my god!” Ryan shouted, exasperated. “What kind of monster are you?!”

“A monster? No. An adorable, well mannered, young man with a passion for music and a horrendously kinky mind? Yes.” He winked.

Ryan looked hopelessly to Spencer, begging silently for an explanation.

Spencer chuckled at Ryan’s pained expression. “He's the new barista at work I was telling you about.”

“And you just invited him over to our movie night and-”

Jon cut them off, walking in with a case of beer and a couple bags of chips. He set his stuff down and handed Spencer a beer without prompt.  "What's got Ryan’s panties in a bunch this week?”

Ryan huffed indignantly and glared at Jon.

Brendon abruptly lost interest in his popcorn and raised an eyebrow. "You wear panties?"

Ryan opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, shooting Brendon and then Jon an indignant glare. “No, I most definitely fucking do not!”

Spencer laughed again. “Don't listen to him. He's probably wearing a pair now.”

“I’m NOT wearing panties, asshole I-”

Brendon cut him off. “Well if you were you wouldn't be the only one.” He said with a wink before hopping up and flashing Ryan a whale tail.

Brendon flopped back onto the couch while Spencer and Jon burst into awkward giggling.  Ryan stood there both concerned and alarmed at how strong this person he  _just_  met was coming on to him.  _Unless this psycho is always like this..._  

Ryan finally closed his mouth and found words. “That's umm nice. I think I'm just gonna go...”

Spencer stopped giggling. “Aw Ry, c'mon! Have a beer, relax... ignore Brendon.”

Brendon corrected him. “Have a beer, or many beers, relax, and  _don't_  ignore Brendon. Possibly pay more attention to Brendon. Brendon likes attention.”

Ryan gave him a horrified look. "Don't talk about yourself in third person that's fuckin' weird.”

“Brendon will do whatever Brendon wants because Brendon can.”

Ryan resisted the childish urge to stomp his foot and shot back a retort. “Brendon is just doing it to annoy Ryan because Brendon is a big immature asshole.”

“God Ryan, talking in third person is weird.” Brendon teased him.

“Fuck you and also- no never mind, just fuck you.”

“Is that an offer cause-”

“No! It's not an offer!”

Ryan shook his head and stomped over to Jon who, with the utmost consideration, had taken the only seat left that wasn't beside Brendon. He snatched a beer from the case and chugged it, grabbing another before trudging over to the couch. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and grudgingly sat down next to Brendon.

-_-_-_-

He recalls now that he made three mistakes. One, not leaving in the first place. Two, drinking 6 beers. Three, pretending not to notice Brendon's hand creeping progressively higher on his leg. Which Ryan realized, too late, wasn't the best decision considering he’s now leaning against the wall in Spencer's hallway while Brendon shoves a hand down the front of his jeans. He notices through the beginnings of pleasure that Brendon isn't  _quite_  as annoying when his mouth is shut.

“So, you do wear panties.”

“Shut the fuck up, Brendon.”

 


End file.
